Force Their Hand
by stewiechewie
Summary: Annoyed with all the sexual repression between Edward and Bella, Jasper is being driven insane and having headaches. He decides to intervene and force their hand. Rated T for some language.


AN- l an well aware that there are loads of these out here, and so l shamelessly decided to jump ship and join in on the action.

**Annoyed with all the sexual repression between Edward and Bella, Jasper is being driven insane and having headaches. He decides to intervene and force their ****hand. **

Jasper Cullen liked to drive. He could go fast in his car. He could go fast anyway, but being in charge of over a ton and a half of metal made him feel happy. He enjoyed the isolation of the car, although he disliked not being with Alice for any measurable length of time. He was able to truly let his mind wander, and dive into the emotions of the people he passed by. He often helped them out, gave them a little gentle encouragement, or a warm nudge.

But right now was different. He picked up a personality that was not usual for a human, though it defiantly belonged to one. Most humans has organised thoughts and feelings, or organised enough to make sense at least. He also occasionally found a few with organised mess. This one however was not organised at all. It was chaos! A swirling vortex of entropy! And he knew without a shadow of a doubt to whom it belonged to. Bella. His adopted brother's flame.

"Bella what are you doing all the way out here?" Jasper asked as he slowed down and opened his window.

"My truck sort of died on me a little."

"Don't you have a cell phone?"

"No signal" She replied glumly as Jasper threw open the passenger door and she stepped in.

"So…" Jasper said trying to start conversation. "How is being human?" He was mentally punching himself. He was still not completely comfortable being around her alone after what happened at her birthday party.

"Its ok l suppose." She replied "Things will be better when I'm changed though."

"Yea how is that going? Is there a date set yet?" Jasper could not wait for that date as he would no longer have an urge to feed off of her.

"Well before I'm twenty for certain. But l want some stuff before l change, but Edward is wanting to get married before we do that." Her voice trailed off, forgetting that vampires had extra sensitive hearing.

"Woh now dude, you mean Edwards not going to…" He paused slightly. "Do anything till your married?"

"Yep. I sure can pick 'em ehh?"

"So don't you mind that?"

"No." She replied. "I can see the logic in his decision and l accept that logic." She said quietly. Jasper had no trouble feeling what her motions were like when she said that.

"Ah denial, what a fucking hideous emotion. Tastes so bitter and rancid." Jasper could feel the disappointment radiating off of her. He had had enough of it from the both of them. A plan formulated in his mind. A grin spread across his face.

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Jasper walks in with a hugely exaggerated swagger, snapping his fingers as he swaged and an enormous grin spread across his face.

"Good morning my wonderful family." He clasps his hands together and spreads them again as though to embrace the other vampires in the room. He glided over to his pint-sized wife and grabbed her in a warm (cold and living-dead) embrace and planted a kiss on her lips, before taking a seat and swivelling around upon it. His maniac grin still spread across his face.

"Oh what did you do?" Emmett asks his brother.

"You can tell the future." He says gesturing towards Alice. "Go ahead and see. What is different?" Jasper responded, smug as ever.

After a brief pause from Alice. She suddenly shrieked like a banshee.

"Ohhmygodohhmygodohhmygod!"

"Wow easy there tiny-one." Rosalie says swooping down, her shimmering hair tumbling over one shoulder as she did so. "What did you see?"

Alice ignored her sister and focused upon Jasper. "How did l not see this happening?"

"Spur of the moment decision." Jasper replied locking fingers with is pixie-like vampire.

"That's why you and he couldn't tell." He was practically beaming with joy.

"Again." Rosalie asked frustratedly. She was not used to being ignored. "What is going on?"

"Edward and Bella." Alice practically screamed. "Edward's going to get laid."

"About bloody time." Emmett contributed roughly. "The guys like 110 and yet hes never got any so far." The younger vampires nodded in agreement.

"What I want to know is how you managed it?" Rosalie asked Jasper.

"And indeed why?" Carlisle added. He and Esme had remained very quite through the conversation.

"Well." Jasper began. "I'm sick of all the emotions of sexual repression flying around when those two are around each other. It's sickeningly awful and pathetic. Edward grew up in the most repressed age in history, I 'lived' through it and it was dreadful, so he was going to need a helping hand.

"Well I'm glad you did something, cause I was getting really tired of him not getting any. It was getting kind of pathetic. I probably would have done something soon." Emmett said.

"Uhh-hu and what exactly would you have done? Punch something? Gone and wrestled a bear? You got off light, all you do is look buff. I do all the work." Jasper said snidely.

"What work? You made two people want to do each other." Emmett responded.

"Hey I rained down hormones, lust and emotions man. There's a subtle difference." Jasper replied defensively.

"Sure" Emmett said non-committed. It was obvious he thought his adopted brother was mearly playing Jerry Springer.

"Hey, fuck you dude! Any moron with a pack of viagra and oestrogen can make people get jiggy. Making two people like them get it on is a huge endurance test. Organising mass copulation is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer." Jasper said, his gleeful attitude now gone.

"So you planned this to happen? Alice asked, hoping to distract their attention.

"I prefer to say that I beautifully orchestrated it but yes, basically." He replied, becoming slightly smug again.

"Do you not think you could have left this to them? Would it have killed you to wait a little while longer?" Carlisle asked, trying to re-iterate his earlier point.

"Yes it would have." Jasper replied defensively.

"Well not technically actually." He said looking slightly sheepish.

"Look, I've been concerned about him since before Bella arrived. I could feel his deepening depression. He felt separated from the rest of us, since he was the one who was alone- you know gesturing at the vampire couples. Those two were giving me awful headaches, all those emotions floating around. The wanting, the not, the being, the..." He bashes his fists off each other to make a point of the emotions colliding and bouncing around.

"It was like it was Christmas Day 1945 all over again. No actually it was that combined with the 1980's!"

His family looks at him blankly. Not understanding what he is talking about.

"Erno Rubik had his brilliant little invention made." His voice heavy with sarcasm.

"There was so much anger and frustration flying around because of those bloody things I wanted to kill everyone. Seriously David Singmaster should be knighted or something. But joking aside Richard T. James and Erno Rubik are in league with the anti-christ." He said looking at his family, who were still staring blankly at him. .

"I hated those god damn cubes and slinkies. And they brought out a larger cube later on! A 5 by 5 by 5 one!" His voice going higher with anger.

"Bloody Professor's Cube" He mutters to himself as he walks away shaking his head.

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AN- what has Jasper done? Shall be revealed shortly-ish depending on hospital visits.

AN- my first twilight fic so please review.


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